Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
