Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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