I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
