yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
