so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
