she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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