oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
