I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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