Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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