We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
