I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
