Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
