it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize