I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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