Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
