So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
