Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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