I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i barfeds in our rink
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
