I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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