I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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