your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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