I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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