woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
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well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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