dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
