If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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