i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
