Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize