the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
