mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
