I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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