So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
