i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish you could order shots online.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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