So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
sex in a hospital.. check
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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