Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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