she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
