It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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