Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
