Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am available for nakedness
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
