it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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