I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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