Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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