She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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