I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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