I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
