go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
