worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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