I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
