dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
