carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
