I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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