He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
