My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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