i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
