You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
