my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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