I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
