Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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