After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
