gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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