She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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