I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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