I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
