i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
