It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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