Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
