we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
